my brother in bilbao

so thursday night jack and serena asked me to spend the night since we'd be going to the coca cola factory early friday. so i did. plus, i didnt feel like being in the house all alone with the new roommate. so friday we went to the coke factory and jack came back home with me, met dave and we went to get my brother from the airport. we were a little late because there was some sort of accident so we got there kind of late. coming back sucked because traffic was backed up! i got home and had to hurry to go meet my intercambio. i left rafa talking with dave and his girlfriend while i went to chat with this girl. it was a little awkward because im not good at one on one conversations with strangers. she looks really young and has very short hair! kindda like boy hair. she's a physics major, so i dont think i'll be meeting up with her often because she has class like all day.

anyway, friday we all went to a cidreria and got in at about 930pm. we had cider till midnight. everyone was pretty drunk except me. my brother like always, got pretty drunk. when we were coming back to my town, he jumped over the metro thingy, so he didn't scan through, i was so mad and kept calling him an idiot. and he kept giving me nuggies, so i was sooo mad. then in the metro i kept telling him to shut up cuz he was being annoying and loud, and he yelled at me! he was in my face telling me shit (not loud) and the lady in front of us was just staring on looking all scared. nikki said rafa was really cool, and i guess the people we went to the cidreria with liked him, but then we have the ones that think they're the shit that would just stare at my brother like wondering who he was. i hated that, i wanted to beat their ass and tell them my brother is a million times better, even if he can be loud and obnoxious!

saturday we walked around bilbao. we were supposed to go on this long walk along the beach/hills, but somehow decided on going to bilbao. i felt bad though because my brother kindda wanted to go to the guggenheim, but we didn't...just the outside. because we walked around too long and took forever. we got back home at like 9pm and we were starving! i made dinner for all of us (me, my brother, jack, and serena) and didn't leave till almost midnight. we went to jose's house, and it was LAME! they were smoking weed and there were like 6 people. kevin was talking to my brother most of the time. then me, will, and my brother left to catch the metro and met up with sheri at some gayyyy concert! i was getting so mad at the drunk people! it was probably in support of eta or some shit. but on our way back, will came with me and my brother...the metro's power went out! it wouldn't go forward, so we had to back up into the previous stop an switch trains. i was worried thinking it was some terrorist attack, but we were fine.

today we did do the 2 hour walk and i wanted to take him to eat at this basque restaurant, but it was closed, so we had nasty chinese food. but before that, we ate pizza...so we were fatties for the day :] i took him to the airport at like 6, dropped him off at the bus station so he could catch the 655 bus. right now, 930pm, he should be flying back to london. as much as he irritates me and we fight, i miss him! i can imagine when my sister leaves, im gonna be all bummed out for like weeks! but the good thing will be that i'll only have a month once she leaves. im really dying to leave right about now. besides my roommates being assholes, i hate being alone. i just miss home and being with my parents. all this petty drama pisses me off and i miss real mexican food, and texting, and just the way things are...but mostly the comfort of being in my own house with people i love. i miss my friends from back home. they never judged over stupid shit, and they didn't try to hard to be liked by other people. unzzel is so dumb sometimes i think twiggy is a better person than her! i also kindda miss her and her stupid talks! but man, i cant believe i miss home so much! im still making the best of it here, but its hard when such assholes surround you! just one week till spring break!

handle it biotch!

so lately i've been super upset. aside from the situation with my dad, there's been some other shady shit going on back in my apartment. as i told my sister, my roommates are self centered. i dont get them. pinches hipocritas! like one minute they're all cool with me, then the next they go whisper in each others rooms. wtf! i thought of my cousin, the so called gangster one...when he'd go up to people and be all in their face saying "lets handle it then!" and want to fight them haha...but how my sister said, next time i notice them being all fucked up like that, im just clearly gonna tell them if they have something to say, to not be little bitches and just say it to my face. but i guess if whats her face is at the apartment, im gonna ask her to tell me what happened saturday night...coming straight from her mouth. is 1. she made me leave...i got my rebuttle. if 2. she says i left on my own...i once again have my rebuttle. point being, you NEVER let a drunk girl go home ALONE...especially not in the metro where you can easily go the wrong way. but enough about that, i just dont want her being all shady and rolling her eyes when i talk...or facing the other way when im in the room. i hope i can be a little badass like my grandpa that would smack people in the face for not soluting the flag...i just hope i can stand my ground and not shed a tear like i usually do...damnit! im a Monar... i should not be a little bitch!

blah

i want to go home. i hate living here and i hate my roommates.

get your own shit!

i swear i hate my roommates sometime. well roommate. unzzel was sick yesterday so we decided to stay in...me cuz well, i didn't feel like calling anyone up to see what there was to do since the metro only runs till 2am....not enough time for me. so i cooked at like 930, but only i ate. then i watched some movies and went to bed at like 2. at 4:45 i hear B of all people! he's talking super loud, almost as if he was in my room talking in the middle of the day. then i hear farrel's friend ness being super loud and giggly. then farrel with his loud ass drunk voice. whatev, i still tried to sleep. no luck. i decided i'd go into the kitchen, where they were, to ask them to be a little bit quieter. they were super loud and were like "oh im sorry!!!" and farrel's cooking something and he's even louder saying "sorry sorry!"

i feel bad for our neighbors. now i know why the lady above us lets her kids run around the house like wild horses. but then! i wake up at 10am cuz once again, those 3 are being loud. i guess they're taking ness somewhere before she leaves? idk but when i went into the kitchen to put my blankets to wash (oh man! i'll talk about that one in a little bit!) i notice the trash is overflowing. there's a carton of eggs. i see inside and there's 8 used eggs in there! wtf?! i got soooo mad! farrel used 8 eggs last night to make his stupid food. first of all, if they were his, i wouldn't have said shit. he used the 3 i had left in my carton, and 5 from unzzel! we buy the eggs, yet he can use them? hell fucking no! i also buy the sandwich stuff, but somehow it always disappears. now, i know i might sound all selfish...but shit is so expensive here! fuckin loaf of bread is like $3 if not a little more. the 10 pieces of turkey breast is another $2.50...the eggs are probably the same, if not more. farrel only buys shit he needs for the day. it pisses me off because i'm wasting my money on shit he eats. no. my parents have ONE child in spain, not THREE. i understand my parents send me money once a month (not what they're supposed to send...but what i need i guess) and i had $4000 saved up, but if i would have known my parents and myself would have to be paying for the other people i'd be living with, i wouldn't have come. i havent really bought the necessities here, because i want farrel to buy the shit. but i just dont know how to go about it. i kindda hint at it, but he doesn't get it.

and about the sheets? for some reason i keep getting these bug bites on my legs. they're like sancudo bites, just smaller. well thursday morning i woke up with 2 bites on my hand...then yesterday i woke up itching my legs...then last night after i got woken up, i kept feeling all these bites all over my legs. i have about 7 of them...5 on one leg...2 on my foot. its gross. so i was all paranoid last night. i woke up this morning washing ALL my bed sheets and flipping my mattress around haha. idk what the fuck it is, but they better not be bed bugs!

damn italians!

so i had to go to school a little earlier today cuz i didn't get to finish my presentation on las vegas for conversation class...so i left 20 minutes earlier (yeah big deal right haha) and when get to school, im walking on top (there's the walkway on the roof lmao) and i see there's like 3 tv cameras, who knows why. i'm on the walkway that connects the bookstore to the library (where we have our classes. its a 5 or 6 story building...idk why they call it the library...weird ass basque people). then in front of the camera, well a few feet away from it, this guy says something to me. so i stop and take out one of my earphones. he's talking in this weird language...some sort of spanish i thought. i caught the word "informacion" so i repeated the word, like it was going to help! lol...and he said all this weird shit to me, and i just stared. then he goes "espanola?" and i smiled and said "no americana"...here's the rest of the conversation:

him: ahhh...americana? yo soy de ::inaudible:: italia. de que pais?
me: ::wtf!?:: estados unidos?
him: si si, pero que pais?
me: ...las vegas nevada?
him: ahhh! yo nomas ido a pais de new york.
me: umm ok?
him: cuantos anios?
me: 20
him: o yo 26. no mal?
me: umm...
him: te puedo llevar a un coffee?
me: ay, me tengo que ir.
him: me das tu numbero para ir a coffee?
me: uhh...no tengo celular.
him: te doy el mio.
me: vale?
him: no eres soltera, novio?
me: si?
him: tu email
me: si tengo email, pero me tengo que ir.
him: mi numero?
me: no tengo pluma. me tengo que ir.
him: ...uh...bueno, mucho...gusto?
me: si si..

then he tried doing the spanish 2 kiss thing...but instead of going for my cheeks he went towards my lips. good thing i moved my face soooo far away from him. he smelled like liquor, coffee, and smokes. it was GROSSSSS!

i was disgusted and tried to hurry away into the computer lab, hoping he didn't follow me. i still wonder if all this was part of whatever they were filming. now, i know i always wanted to be on tv since i was little, but even if this was for tv...im not letting some weird ass italian guy kiss me! sick! lol

wonderful weekend.

so thursday night we went to this one bar here where i live cuz there's a live band. i was kindda just there not really talking to anyone, just being the freaky kid that stands there next to you lol. i had a gin and tonic and pretty much chilled on my own. now we all know how much i HATE being alone...so i figured i'd talk to the girl in my culture class...so whatever, we talked about how her beer and lemon tasted like shit. then jack came by and we went outside. we kept going in and out. till the end we just decided it was too smokey inside so we sat up against this wall. then my friend katie's boyfriend came out, we'll call him, Jesse. jesse came and talked to me and jack for a little, then when jack went back inside, i decided i'd stay outside for a little longer. then jesse sat down next to me....before i continue, let me tell you about what i told him a few weeks back...

maybe 2 or 3 weeks ago, we went to algorta for their carnaval thing. well we had drank a bottle of wine, and like 2 whiskey and coke here at home. when we went to one of the guy's houses, i took a drink of pure vodka that sheri had, which was sick! then i drank about half a bottle of wine there too. well i guess as we walked outside, it was kindda getting to me. you know when you get those little blackouts? well yeah. i was with katie and jesse, and well, i have a tendency to talk out of my ass when i drink a little too much. well, as i stood there with serena and them waiting for some guy to come out of the bar, katie mentioned how jesse was dressed up as a sancho, then one of the guys told her "well since he's the sancho, how about you pay him back and...make out with dini"...and we kindda looked at him all disgusted and said no. then my smart ass goes off on a tangent. "omg katie remember how mad you got when those girls were all looking at jesse? haha...well i remember the very first day at the orientation, i saw jesse and thought he was SOOOOO hot. but when i found out he was your boyfriend, he was totally off limits! and i mean, if any girl tries to get with him, i'll kick their ass cuz i got your back."

WHAT THE FUCK!?!?! i say the stupidest things, sometimes i wonder why god gave me a mouth! so yes, i basically told jesse i think he's super cute....anyway, back to thursday night. jack left and jesse sat down next to me. i was a little uncomfortable cuz he was sitting next to me, and since everyone here likes to start rumors, i was like "shiit! this is gonna get back to katie and she's gonna HATE me! she already knows i think he's cute!" so i was kindda wanting to leave, but jesse kept talking to me. he's a hella cool guy, so i wasnt gonna be rude and walk away. then he said "i can't sit on this lopsided wall. im going to go sit at the bench over there, want to come with me?" ummm...ok? so i went and sat with him...but there was a decent space between us. while we sat there, we had a little heart to heart about how this program blows and we want to go back home! he was saying he was so frustrated with these guys that they're lucky he hasn't knocked them out yet! and i kindda hinted at the jack being a big mouth thing. and he said how me and him were on the same page, and that not even katie understood him and just told him to relax and enjoy spain. as we were talking, there were other people from the program outside, then unzzel came and sat in between us...

friday when we went on the excursion for school, serena happened to be sitting in front of jesse and katie. i sat with serena and said hi to them, but only katie replied. umm ok. when we got off to take pictures really quick, i noticed how katie and jesse went their own separate ways every time. i was kindda thinking they were mad, then i started freaking out about "omg! what if someone made up some crazy shit and told katie about me and jesse sitting outside last night?!" but i guess they were just doing their own thing. we had our lunch together, and everything was cool there after. but thennnnn! that night was when i was totally weirded out by everything (has nothing to do with jesse and katie anymore lol)

now, remember i mentioned serena told me jack tells sheri about everything they say? and i guess that whole apartment is having issues, or was. friday night i was with jack and when i went to his room to get my jacket he told me "hey...why is serena mad at me? is it because sheri told her about the lunch meat she took? i didn't tell sheri. she was just bitching and blamed B, but i said it wasn't him. is serena mad because of that because she's being really rude with me. i know you know because you guys are really good friends." and i just looked at him and said i didn't know (eventhough i did. and she was mad at him for that) and said he should talk to her and see what SHE has to say. so we went to jose's house, and again jack kept asking and trying to see why serena was being so different and if she was mad because he hangs out with sheri alot. i simply told him to talk to her, but to remember to stay true to the friends he came with, not to just leave serena out in the cold and talk shit about her. when we went back to their apartment, he went in to serena's room to talk to her, then we left to the metro. in the metro he kept saying how he felt really upset about the whole thing and he didn't want to go out. i kept telling him to not worry and they just have to clear everything up. well when sheri got there, they started talking about the whole situation. earlier, serena had told me that jack said i was the one that told him serena called sheri cruela. so i was kindda mad at jack...but then i hear sheri tell him "i just think it's messed up that serena even talks shit about her own best friends, yet she tries to be so innocent. i was the one that put my foot down when she started talking shit about her own friend who she plans trips with." WTF?! so i quickly speak up and told her "look sheri, if you have to say something to me, im right here. instead of talking about me indirectly, tell me to my face. im here, and i WILL clear everything up with you and jack." (this was not in a bitchy attitude at all) thats when they told me. they said that serena talks shit, well more like, tells them everything i say to her. sheri told me "look, all i have to tell you is don't tell her any of your secrets cuz we ALL know about them" then i brought up the cruela thing and they both said that serena was the one that said I was the one that said it first.

so im so lost on who to believe! it sucks because i dont know if serena is being truthful about jack being a gossip and telling sheri everything, or if both jack and sheri are being truthful with saying serena tells them what i vent to her about. so i decided i would NOT tell anyone anything anymore and better yet, just write everything in here or tell to my sister through AIM. im so tired of all these stupid little games these 19 year old kids play. im done with high school, i guess they aren't.

yesterday was my first real soccer game. i went to see Athletic vs Villareal. it was so much fun! it only sucked that we were sitting by this fence thing that blocked part of the action. i bought a pretty cool athletic scarf for 12 euros. and now we cant wait to go to another game! i want to go to the one on april 6th, so if my sister wants, we'll go see it! lol

my family's dumb...well some.

sometimes i wonder why my family is kindda, not all there. for example, if you're my friend on myspace, why are you showing your parents my pictures? i understand no one in my family has been to spain (i dont think so atleast) and you're probably excited saying "MAMIIII! mire! dinora fue a ver esta iglesia que esta MUYYYY grande! y tambien mire! ay...porque tiene esa cosa dinora en su nariz? y mire, esta tomando cerveza!"...but really, how my sister said, myspace is a place for friends not family. i might as well send all my pictures to be posted on the little town my parents are from's website. if i wanted the whole damn world to know what im doing on my spare time, i would send everyone a cd with all my pictures. some things are just meant to be private my friend.

anyway! well my pretty little dumb cousin has fallen into the immature trap of "ahh! you posted a bulletin saying you're mad at me...well take this! im taking you off my top friends!" do i care? no, not really. maybe if you were my favorite cousin in the whole wide world who i told all my secrets too, and who i spent most of my childhood with, and who took me everywhere and we were inseperable (mooney please note i just described you! haha)...but really, you're just the cousin that...well, is the daughter of my dad's dumb little sister. in all reality, you're a cool girl, but you definitely dont know how to be a cousin. you prefer your boyfriend's little family over your own. and dont think i'll ever forget how you would rather spend time with your dumb boyfriend over going to mass in memory of our dead grandma. take me off your top friend's page, i can play that game too...fuck you whenever i get home! you're just someone that lives at my GRANDPA'S house...




ok, so my venting for the day is done with. i think i might go comment her page right now and "see how she's doing and how things are going?" lol...i have an hour and a half to kill...i think i might book my barcelona flight back home and see if i can squeeze in another city to visit the following weekend with my sister.